With a name like that…

One of my favorite things is seeing what Internet searches bring people to my blog. As you can imagine most are trophy wife related. Below are my favorites and my first reaction upon reading them. You should check your searches out too!

fake trophy wife             Yes!

being 30 sucks     Also, yes!

i’m not happy 30 sucks   You’ll get over it

trophy wives with fake  Wonder where they were going with that?

hobby lobby gemstone mirror   SEE! It is cool!

why trophy wives suck       I can’t think of a single reason

rodney mcgruder and martavious            Gonna miss those kids

real life trophy wife        I wish

j&j wife                Yay! I love J&J…but they don’t have wives…

trophy wife stadium       They totally should have named KSU’s new stadium after me

trophy wives have great life        I bet they do just like I bet English is not your first language

emaw is stupid   We know how I feel about that!

ryan reynolds trophy wife            YES!! Why didn’t I think of that instead of falling in love?

some inappropriate trophy wife searches that I won’t repeat       I bet these folks were disappointed to find my blog!

what gets out hummus              Club soda?

being 30               See number 2

my husband called me his trophy wife   So does mine! Take it as a compliment even thought it might have meant you are high maintenance

how to eat like a trophy wife      Ha! Also disappointed here because I don’t eat like a Trophy Wife

Once a month

This year J, J, & T-dub decided to try to make sure we get together at least once a month. While you may not have heard about these outings on any of our blogs, I can assure you that halfway into the 2013 we’ve held up our pact. I was able to find these recaps between the 3 of us: Jan, Feb, March…and that brings us to June. Yeah, I know it’s July, get off my case. If you’ve learned anything in 2013 it’s that even though I went .com I haven’t blogged more.

In May, at my house, we brought up an idea we’d discussed previously: Shopping at Forever 21. I can’t do it. I think I’m too old for that place and yet somehow I keep going back. I made a rule, with Cute Boy once, that I wasn’t allowed to go in there anymore. There isn’t anything for me. Stay away. Do not be confused. But I’d always find my way to it and Cute Boy would ask, sweetly, “Didn’t you say you aren’t allowed to go in there anymore?” and even though it was my own rule and he could care less I would take that to mean that he thought I was too old too. As if he’d have any idea.

Jamie seems to share my confusion about F21 and we keep finding ourselves astonished when Jana shows up in something amazing and announces that she bought it at Forever 21. We asked Jana to take us shopping and show us how it’s done.

We met up at Nordstroms and discussed important things like, “You can’t wear open toed wedges with shorts”, (J&Js rule, I don’t even own shorts) and “Why does this bracelet cost $70?” (because it’s Michael Kors). We quickly made our way out of there and onto F21. Right away I encountered a problem: there are just so. many. things. At some point I made a confession. I’ve NEVER owned anything animal print. J&J were surprised. One of them asked, “Not even shoes?” and that’s a yes, not even shoes. They were on a mission to find me some animals.

We really spent most of the time trying to figure out what is up with some of these recent styles. It seems clothes our mothers wore while we were growing up are coming back in and there’s something about it that doesn’t sit right with me. We each grabbed something ridiculous and tried it on just for fun.

 My wild side:
https://mail-attachment.googleusercontent.com/attachment/?ui=2&ik=0091a8cd1b&view=att&th=13fb166128b14f64&attid=0.1&disp=inline&safe=1&zw&saduie=AG9B_P9dfqdBGkecTWDhwkhwLZHz&sadet=1373070932256&sads=PaBOzUUMVx2JRTjluePEYz4QgqE

I particularly like that the girl behind me is super amused. Perhaps it’s because she can see that my skirt is NOT zipped.

Jamie is sporting what we referred to as Kelly Kapowski’s jean top and striped leggings while Jana is making those houndstooth pants actually look amazing.

janajamie

I’m a fan of their serious model faces.

We did all end up buying something and here are my finds:

Animal print! That’s a giraffe, right?

 

shirt

 

And this $12 dress they convinced me to buy. It’s too short, right?

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Yes, definitely. This is the problem with F21, you know it’s a bad choice but $12? It would be wrong NOT to buy it.

We followed up our shopping with dinner at the Nordstrom Cafe. It confused me. It was like a cafeteria but we had a nice bottle of wine and excellent table service. Strange. We discussed important topics like Paula Deen and Sky Diving. Still think you’re crazy, J.

Things we learned*:

1. F21 is too young for us.

2. Animals are cool.

3. Don’t wear open toed wedges with shorts. (Are you sure? I’m still not convinced)

4. Nordstrom Cafe serves wine.

*(this segment stolen from Jamie’s trip recaps)

Do they get to keep the honey?

Before I share the following text convo a little back story is required. Cute Boy and I have to have some work done on our home. I haven’t mentioned it because I haven’t been blogging I know Cute Boy will be pissed that I’m even mentioning it now I don’t really know why not…

Cute Boy: My worst nightmare was realized today.

Trophy Wife: (Scanning the recesses of her mind TDub could only come up with things that were HER worst nightmare: Running out of wine, rolling an ankle in 5 inch heels – not because of the pain but because of the embarrassment, or perhaps still weighing the most she’s ever weighed in her whole life – oh wait, that’s real life.) What happened?

Cute Boy: The house next to the one I’m working at has some kind of massive bee hive and these guys in bee suits are removing them all. There are Bees EVERYWHERE. 20-30 THOUSAND of them.

Trophy Wife: Ew. Actually, wouldn’t your worst nightmare be a hive of wasps? (Finally remembering the ONLY thing he actually hates)

Cute Boy: This is pretty bad.

Then he sent me a photo of some guy all suited up climbing out of the house with the caption, “We could have this problem instead.”

Trophy Wife: Which is more expensive? And…do they get to keep the honey?

I mean, I’m just saying! I hear Honey Laundering is a serious issue right now!