About those shoes

On Saturday, as Cute Boy and I ran errands around town the following conversation took place; forgive me if you heard the 140 character version on Twitter already, it was just too funny not to share here too.

12 inches of snow, melting, becoming slush. Parking lots full of dirty, mucky water.

Trophy Wife: “UH! There is no way I’m going to be able to wear my shoes tonight!”

Cute Boy: “What? Why not? It’s melting, there’s just a little bit of water now”

Trophy Wife:  Super annoyed;  “Are you kidding? My shoes are suede, you can’t wear them on wet ground, they’ll be ruined”

Cute Boy: Completely annoyed. “Why would you ever buy shoes that can’t get wet?”

Trophy Wife: “Is this real life? Have you met me?”

I mean really, has he met me? Why would I ever buy shoes that can’t get wet? Here’s a better question, why would you ever buy shoes that CAN get wet? Anyway, I did get to wear my shoes Saturday YAY! and I had the BEST time ever at dinner that night YAY! followed by the most fun family gathering on Sunday YAY! Then I walked into work and my coworkers had put together the sweetest mess in my cubicle:

Stuff everywhere!

https://mail-attachment.googleusercontent.com/attachment/?ui=2&ik=0091a8cd1b&view=att&th=13d22e6e259c891f&attid=0.1&disp=inline&realattid=1428255052788662272-1&safe=1&zw&saduie=AG9B_P9dfqdBGkecTWDhwkhwLZHz&sadet=1362090217905&sads=WXecZ18VbdB2GG1Ad56xzxlEe1I&sadssc=1

And an explanation:

https://mail-attachment.googleusercontent.com/attachment/?ui=2&ik=0091a8cd1b&view=att&th=13d22e72cd88224a&attid=0.1&disp=inline&realattid=1428255068162883584-1&safe=1&zw&saduie=AG9B_P9dfqdBGkecTWDhwkhwLZHz&sadet=1362090277050&sads=P3GLUvnkdpPkQrSRN2m7Tg5yl6g

In case you can’t read it, it says:
CAN YOU FIND…
30 BRIT-BRITS? A reminder that if your age makes you crazy, we will all still love you!
30 Cents? Saving for retirement!
30 Post It Notes? You’ll definitely start losing your mind…use these as reminders!
30 Recipes? MORE FIBER!
30 Paper Clips? Keep it together, girl!

But then things took a turn for the worse. Monday afternoon that second snow storm rolled in. Another 10 inches on top of the 12 we got 4 days prior? BOO! The restaurant I had a bday dinner with Cute Boy planned at, the one where we spent his 30th birthday closed early due to the storm. BOO! Then I got sick. Like sore throat, sinus congestion, can’t breathe sick. BOO! WHA!?

My friend Megan suggested I take a Mulligan on the Birthday and I totally think I should. So until I can start feeling better and we can redo, I won’t be recapping the birthday. Let’s just say for now, I’m 30, and it’s miserable.

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Snowmaggedon

Remember a few years ago when the Midwest got that crazy storm and everyone was all “Snowmygod!” and it’s “Snowmaggedon out there”?

Well, let’s all freak out again because they are calling for a similar snow storm. Ugh. If you know me at all you know I HATE snow. HATE. My twenty minute commute becomes 2 hours of fist clentched terror as I yell at people who are driving too slow because YOU ARE THE PROBLEM! THAT IS NOT HELPING! YOU ARE THE ONES WHO WILL CAUSE AN ACCIDENT WHILE THE REST OF US DRIVING 40MPH MUST SLAM ON OUR BRAKES FOR YOU DRIVING 15MPH. It’s still a highway. I hate you all. And don’t get me started on Missouri and their lack of snow plows or effort to clear streets.

Wow. Sorry about that. None of that is important. What is important is that I have Birthday plans on Saturday and they involve wearing THESE shoes:

If this snow isn’t all cleared up we’re going to have a problem.

Birthday Wishes

T Minus 1 week until my birthday. B T Dub, happy early birthday to my birthday sharer and wonderful blogger, CGM. It makes me feel better Lauren, that I’m not alone in this.

Since I am sure you are all wondering what you should get me for my birthday I thought I’d put together a fun wish list. Sorry for not being more prompt with this but well…I’m lazy.

  • Bubble Bath. I saw this on a blog and just thought it was beautiful. I should be taking more baths anyway!

Click on the pic for a link

Do you think I just like the bottle because it looks like booze?

  • Vitamix. I know I’m a little late to the party as bloggers the world round have been using their Vitamixs for years but I finally decided I might use it enough to make the price tag worth it.
Vitamix 5200 Super - Healthy Lifestyle Package

After extensive research this is the one I want

  • Have you been watching Biggest Loser this season? Have you seen Jillian’s necklace? I LOVE it and decided I needed one. I was sure someone would have asked where it’s from so I wasn’t surprised when I easily found the answer by googling. I was surprised by the price tag.
Jillian Michaels

Click the pic for the source

You can find the necklaces here. For at least $1300. Oops. I found some Etsy options that were more in your price range. You should check out Etsy.

  • I know I already mentioned that Vitamix but I also want this:

It’s a Juicer

Seriously. I think I’ve convinced myself that juicing will save my life. I know. Let’s just say this one is next on my crazy list. Just after: eliminating processed foods, going organic, going vegan… I know: No one needs a vitamix and a juicer. That is the problem. Juicing is like veganism for me: I think it’s a little too crazy but I just keep hearing about it/seeing it. Just ask this guy! Most recently I saw this movie and it reenforced what I’ve been thinking. Don’t tell Cute Boy.

Other ideas:

  • Wine. Always.
  • A facial. I’ve only ever had one facial in my entire life and now that I’m old I should start taking better care of my skin, right?
  • Shoes. Also always a great choice. I just bought myself two pairs, including one I’ll be wearing for my birthday dinner that I can’t wait to show you!
  • Tickets to KSU bball games. They are expensive!

Happy Shopping! Oh, and NO cards, shirts, hats, etc. proclaiming to the world that I’m THIRTY. Ugh.

Guests of the Ayatollah

Dear Mr. President

Good morning, President Carter, I hope you are doing well. I felt compelled to write you this letter in response to your handling of the Iran hostage situation in 1979, 1980, and 1981. Three years. That embarrassment continued through three separate years.  I understand this occurred a very long time ago and perhaps you have moved on from this experience, but I’d urge you and the American people not to. In fact, I wasn’t even alive when the hostage crisis took place and though I’ve heard about it through the years it wasn’t until watching the Golden Globe winning movie, Argo, that I became aware of the details of this dark time in American history. As the movie reached completion and I was met with a screen saying the hostages were held for 444 days my reaction was an audible gasp. I was shocked. And moved to learn more.

I couldn’t understand. This was America. How could we possibly have allowed these hostages to remain captive for so long? GO GET THEM! I didn’t understand. As I read Guests of the Ayatollah, by Mark Bowden (author of Blackhawk Down) I knew I would be writing this letter almost immediately. I want you to know that if the American people have forgotten, they shouldn’t. I wanted you to know that young (er) Americans like myself who weren’t alive at the time or weren’t old enough to know what was happening don’t understand. I wanted you to know that this is a black mark over your presidency that I hope remains for all of eternity. I’ll be honest though, I had to google to see if you were still alive. Sorry. I know we are all getting older but, the 70’s…well, it was quite awhile ago. So I guess, congratulations on your longevity. You must be doing something right in that regard.

As the story unfolded in front of me I started to understand. The circumstances were different. There wasn’t an obvious leader to negotiate with and sending in troops to get the hostages out wasn’t as simple as crafting a plan and executing. But I was angry. As an American, as a human being I was angry that our countrymen were put through this. For Four Hundred and Forty Four Days. One year, 2 months, 2 weeks, and 2 days. I’m still angry.  You failed those Americans and you failed the office of the President.

I understand that the United States does not negotiate with Terrorists…but…we put ourselves in that situation. Our Nation-building put a man back into power that the people of Iran didn’t want. Then we protected him after they overthrew him. I’m not saying Shah Muhammad Reza Pahlavi wasn’t good for Iran, good for America, or good for the world during World War II or beyond, I don’t know the answer to that, but perhaps it wasn’t our place to make that decision for them? Whether it was the right decision or not, you should have dealt with the consequences of that decision instead of leaving these Americans to deal with it. Do you regret not bringing the Americans back after the embassy was occupied in February of ’79? Do you regret allowing the Shah to receive treatment at the Mayo Clinic? Would you do these things differently now?

While I believe one of our duties as Americans is to question our leaders, when I do so I try to remember that I can’t possibly understand all that goes into decision making or all that the job of the President entails. I attempted to give you the benefit of the doubt but my anger and disappointment remained. When the rescue attempt was finally made I applauded you in my mind for doing SOMETHING, ANYTHING and while that attempt was obviously a failure and resulted in the loss of several American servicemen’s lives I was proud of that decision. I hope that your frustration throughout this time was at least half of what I imagine it must have been although if it was I can’t figure out why you didn’t do more.

While I can’t imagine how this time weighed on you heart and I know you received plenty of criticism at the time I just simply couldn’t keep quiet after learning the details of this crisis. Bowden writes a compelling account from all sides that left me breathless and angry. I came away from it with a greater understanding of our entire history in the middle east and how this situation still affects our relations there. Thank you, Mr. President, for your service to the United States and the American people. While my disappointment at your handling of this situation will remain, so to will my respect for you and the office of the Presidency.

Thank you for the opportunity to share my feedback. God bless you. And God bless America.

 

DS

Well that’s, one thing we’ve got

This is so me.

In an effort to finally, maybe, cross off something from my Dirty Thirty list I added a couple classic movies to my Netflix streaming account. After a long weekend at work, yesterday afternoon I snuggled into my bed to watch one of them: Breakfast at Tiffanys. The movie started and immediately I knew I’d seen it before and yet…I could not for the life of me remember what happened. The entire 2 hours I watched the damn thing I couldn’t remember what happened next but after each scene I registered that I had in fact seen that too.

This is not new. One time I anxiously added Dear John to my nexflix cue, remembering that I’d wanted to see it in the theater for my birthday a few years prior. As it began I realized…I’ve seen this before.  Who does this?! I’ll tell you who doesn’t: Cute Boy. That guy can see 6 seconds of some obscure movie we watched 10 years ago that he slept through half of and be like, “Oh, that’s 16 blocks” while I’ll swear I’ve never seen it. Then he’ll explain the entire plot to me at which point I will realize that yes, I watched it.

This is one of his amazing, yet not profitable talents. Much like being able to guess the weight of fat people within about 6 pounds. Seriously, watch Biggest Loser with us once, you’ll be amazed.

Tired

Hi Friends.

I’m tired.

Let’s recap what’s been going on in Trophy Wife’s life, shall we?

  • When I made a New Year’s resolution to “wake up earlier” I never anticipated that it meant getting to work at 6am. Ugh. I’m failing at this resolution except on those days that I’m forced to succeed. When’s naptime?
  • It’s February. That’s my favorite month. It’s short and it’s my birthday month. This year, of course, I’m not so excited about that whole birthday thing. Yes, I should be over it by now. No, I’m not. Happy Birthday to me!
  • Britney is talking to Caesar’s Palace in Las Vegas about doing some shows there. Britney in Vegas? Been there, done that. WANT TO DO IT AGAIN! Who wants to hit up Vegas for some sun and B. Spears action? Come on, you know you want to!
  • Big 12. Big Monday. There are BIG things happening in basketball right now. The Cats are playing well. I have my issues with some of them but winning is winning so I won’t trash college kids on my blog. Going to be a long difficult stretch until the Madness of next month but I’m looking forward to it.
  • Bob’s plan. I had a really great first week on Bob’s plan. Tons of protein, lots of eating, more water than you can imagine. I lost 5 pounds. Then I got lazy. Gained a couple back. Stopped spending hours prepping meals and snacks and cleaning SO. MANY. TUPPERWARE. CONTAINERS. Started eating carbs after 2pm. I’m back at it and trying again. The best take away so far though is that I’m consistently eating breakfast for the first time ever in my life. Sometimes that doesn’t happen until 9am but it’s happening. Maybe if I just woke up a little earlier…

Top 10 Foods I will never eat again

I’m out on lasts week’s Top Ten and this week. Oops. Good thing my friend Megan asked a few followup questions 2 weeks ago. Here’s one I didn’t really think I could get 10 out of until I started answering.

What food will you never, ever eat again?

Cheese. HA! Just kidding. Just ate some right now.

  1. Chicken – Yes, really. We used to eat chicken several times a week. It’s “healthy” and there’s so much you can do with it. What I’ve realized about it is that there isn’t anything made with chicken that I crave. Ever.
  2. Meatloaf – never really liked it anyway.
  3. Hamburgers/Hotdogs – This basically goes for any beef product as well where a big piece of meat is the star.
  4. Milk – There are so many good substitutes that don’t make my sinus’ angry. This comment has nothing to do with cheese. I’ve tried to break up with cheese many times. It never sticks.
  5. Coconut water – This has nothing to do with being Vegan other than everyone on healthy living blogs a few years ago were all about coconut water and how great it was for you, how wonderful it tasted, blah, blah, HAVE YOU EVER TRIED IT?! blah. Seriously, the most disgusting thing I’ve ever tasted.
  6. Eggplant – I’ve tried to like it but I don’t.
  7. Jello – HA! You guys know I have this thing about the texture of jello, right? There’s pig cartilage in gelatin, btw and I’m sure that’s why I don’t like it. Riiiight.

    That’s me taking a jello shot a few years ago.

  8. Cheese – No. Seriously, I’m joking. I love cheese. I will keep eating it.
  9. This one is going to turn some heads I’m sure. While I reserve the right to ask you for a bite of yours and savor it’s amazing deliciousness, I do not ever anticipate ordering or cooking myself up a steak. Seriously. I just said I’ll never eat steak again. Listen, I get it, steak is yummy. While Vegan I’ve been quoted as saying, “Why am I not eating this every day?” but the reality is, if I sat down to a big ol’ steak I wouldn’t be able to finish it and I’d feel gross for days.
  10. And the number one thing I avoid AT ALL COSTS is fake sugar. That means diet soda, low sugar sports drinks, and just about anything that claims to be sugar free. If you don’t know why, let’s chat about it in real life. Or google aspartame and read a few things, see what you think.

I know I’m way behind here but last week was crazy town. The 7th largest conference in KC happened last week and I was knee deep in it. I’ll be back soon with more.